On The Verge of Not Making it Through the Holiday’s

I apologize folks, it has been too long since I have last wrote. The holiday’s got in the way, boy, did they. Once I hit the week before Thanksgiving it was full-speed ahead. Usually, I am stressed through the whole time. Always thinking of what I had left too do – reaching New Years and realizing I didn’t enjoy myself one bit. This year was different, I took a care-what-may attitude to the holidays. Yes, I enjoyed the Holidays more but I didn’t get everything done I needed to. I didn’t make all my poppy seed breads. My Christmas cards were a little late and my Christmas tree was under-decorated. Regarding the Christmas tree there was an issue this year. When my husband and two sons were heading out of the door to buy it, I said, please get me a thin tree this year. I live in a small house and didn’t need the tree to take up a percentage of it. My eldest son smugly came home saying ” Mom, we just bought the smallest tree ever”, Yea right, they dragged in the largest-widest tree ever. I rebelled my making the boys put the lights on the tree and decorate it…thus, under-decorated. Christmas week came with a bang. It started out by hosting Bunco on Monday, then hosting our annual Boat Parade Chili Party on Wednesday. Christmas Eve, I had decided to surprise the kids by buying expensive movie tickets to go see the Christmas Carol at the Disney’s “El Capitain” theater in Hollywood. I fell asleep through most of it. Ended the day by spending a lovely night with friends. All this ushering me right into Christmas day. The most relaxing day of the season..go-figure.
Next year, I intend to get more done, still trying to keep the stress down and I will go pick out the tree with boys.

On the Verge of Taking a Nap

I know this sounds boring but I want to take a nap! But, here I am writing this blog instead. Why? It’s not like I am 5 years old not wanting to take a nap….I want to take a nap. It’s now 4:30pm and it’s getting dark. Not the time to take a nap…I’m too late now, simple as that. My husband just brought me a warm cup of coffee, well that is it…officially, I am not taking a nap. So now I am thinking about going to bed early tonight. Imagining, curling up in by warm bed with a good book and falling gently to sleep. Will I do it? Not a chance in hell. I have my daughters boyfriend visiting and he brought his friend from France, sweet guy (Side note: he thinks most French people should not treat Americans rudely..I said, when we were in Europe we ran in to many rude Americans who deserve it) anyhow, on top of all the visitors..what’s on TV tonight…wait a minute, Dancing with the Stars is no longer on…what else is on Monday…hum… I just might go to bed early, probably not at 9 but maybe 10. Just as long as I make it to bed before my husband start snoring I will consider it early.

Looking at the End of My Life

Looking at the End of my Life, I live with that thought daily. I gauge my actions upon it. I picture myself, old, beautiful, round and winkled in comfy flannel PJ’s. My eyes will be as bright as ever, because I lay there proud of of my life and all those around me. I won’t have many regrets. I will have lived my life conscience of them, not wanting to carry the weight of them upon my shoulders. Those few regrets I do carry, I have forgiven myself for them and learned from them.
I feel all the wrinkles upon my face and know I earned each one of them. I see my kids around me, their here not out of obligation or a bible verse but out of deep love and appreciation. Knowing I placed them as top priority the first 25 years of their life. We never bought them a new car or a big house but we gave them our time.  We provided them the wings to fly on their own.  My grandkids are around me too.  Each now with their own wings. I smile noting the similarities and I am proud.
I am not sure I want my husband there or not. Sometimes I picture him greeting me on the other side. My soulmate. . I respected him and he respected me.I helped make all his dreams come true as he did mine. He was my partner with raising our kids, not always easy, but we never gave up. What more could I ask or give.

I have a smile of contentment on my face, knowing I really lived my life. The first half;  growing up , learning lessons, raising kids, learning lessons. The second half with knowing the lessons.  Living a life of travel and adventure. Not just with my husband  but with those I hold most dear, family and friends.
All this I think about each day, building on the beautiful pictures in my head. Creating all those memories I will hold dear to the end.

New Podcasts Available

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High Anxiety: Do you suffer from anxiety? You are not alone. Sit in with Donna and Carol as they share their frustrations and solutions.

Caring for our aging parents, when their twilight years become our twilight zone.

The State of Our Kids Address: They’re adults now, have they met our expectations? (Probably not if they’re still at home).

Check out the latest on “Moms on the Verge website”
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On The Verge Of Living on Cash

Banking is a thorn in my side. Here it is Monday and I have to visit the bank and ask them “Why the Hold on my account”. I found out about the hold while shopping yesterday. It’s always a pleasant experience to have the cashier tell you your debit card was declined. When my daughter asked to go to Starbucks on the way home I had to tell her I have no money. Oh but I do! I went promptly to a ATM and checked my balance. It said I had a good balance, but would not let me take any money out of it out. Why oh why bank????? My husband looked at me, as my face is turning red and said “it’s going to be okay”. I can’t think clearly.
As soon as I got home, I called the bank. They say they don’t know for sure because that department is closed but it could all be about an ID number. What? My Husband went in a week ago and provided them with all the info. The teller on the phone also informed me there was a $20 fee, dealing with this. I love my bank, at least I used to. It used to be a small bank, where everyone knew your name. A mega bank bought it several months ago. Most of our sweet tellers have been replaced with idiots. I don’t want to change banks but I might have to. Well, wish me luck dealing with the system.. I will need to go to the gym afterwards.

On The Verge of Taking Carlos the Cat to the Vet.

I am feeling bad for our cat Carlos this morning. He has an appointment with the vet today to be Spade (sp). I know this is the right thing to do…but the kitten has no idea what will be done to him today. I look at his sweet trusting face, oh I feel bad. What makes this all worse, is that our friends took their much loved dog to the vet on Saturday due to a cough. He died of a heart attack in the Vet’s office because he was so scared (okay, he had an enlarged heart too). I don’t want Carlos to be scared. I know what it is like. I hate going to the doctors office myself. It’s one of the few places I feel out of control. Yuk…let’s not go there, I don’t feel well.
I know we have an obligation to help control the pet population….but it’s because someone neglected to control the population that Carlos came into our family. However, as I sit her, Carlos is nuts! Jumping from the couch to the stairs then up on the Route 66 bar chair. He has that crazy look in his eyes. I know in an hour he will be the cute, cuddily cat we so love. Oh, I don’t know. I dread looking into Carlos’s eyes tonight. He trust me…..

On the Verge of an Electric Shock Buzzer at Disneyland.

Yesterday my son, husband and I went to Disneyland. My son is 17 and a huge Disney fan. He doesn’t mind even hanging with his parents at D-land. We had fun. Everything was decorated for Halloween, pumpkins everywhere. Space Mountain and the Haunted Mansion were decked out. Had dinner at the sour dough place at California Adventure. Then, headed to the center of Disneyland to wait for the big Halloween Firework Show.
We entered the cordon off areas to wait. Now, we got there about 25 minutes before the show and stand towards the back of the area. It’s crowded! But wait we did on tired and soar feet. So far I can see just great. Sleeping Beauty’s castle is right in front of me. Centered perfectly, in between two older ladies who are taller than I but on the round side providing me with a good viewing space between their heads. Then I heard this man behind me saying “excuse me, excuse me” It’s this tall man bringing his wife some coffee… in front of the nice ladies, in front of me. What! So now I am jogging around my small area for another viewing position. I find one next to a lady with bags of stuff. The bags hit my leg but the view is okay. The lights go off as the show was about to begin. The castle was lit and the fireworks went off but I can’t see the castle. This dad in front of me has now put his child on his shoulders. I had no idea he had a child. Where was it a minute ago. I loudly said “You Got to be Kidding!” Isn’t there some kind of common courtesy thought that might occur to these guys “Hey, I will be in all these nice peoples way, I should head to the back of the area so everyone can see.” But this isn’t the case they sit there with no regard to anyone around them. I hate this. Has it always been this way? Did there parents not teach them about manners? In some deep dark place in my head I just wished I had an electric shock buzzer thing. That would chock some common sense into them.

New Podcasts are UP

Posted a new Moms on the Verge Podcast about “State of Our Kids (Why are they still at home) and Brides stuffed in Sexy Wedding dresses. Other podcast feature: Flashing Old Lady, Worry and Kids in Bars. Check it our at http://momsontheverge.podbean.com/

On the Verge of a Reality TV Meltdown.

I love reality TV. I admit it. Now, I do have my limits. That stupid stuff on MTV…I slept with my brother’s wife type of stuff. All I think is “Where were these kids (young adults, but I don’t want to call them that) parents?”, Did they ever have parents?, Where they ever taught morals and manners?. There was one show I saw on MTV many moons ago where a young woman, an elementary school teacher went off with friends to Florida. Over the next 20 minutes they showed her get drunk, pick up some guy and have a threesome with the girls she came with. At the end of the show they interviewed her father who had just watched the show. You could tell he was upset, but he said “what could he do”, that it’s “her life”. I was yelling at the TV screen “well, you raised her!” Okay, I hate (OK that is a little harsh…it’s Monday morning), parents who don’t take any responsibility. Don’t we as parents have the responsibility to raise our kids with manners, morals and good judgement. …with that my rant over, I will go on.
I have been watching “Say Yes to the Dress” on, I think TLC. I enjoy this show but there of course are a few things that annoy me. When did wedding dresses become sexy? I wanted to be beautiful in my dress, but to dress sexy was saying “It’s all about sex, baby.” Is that the message brides want to say now? Not only are the dresses sexy but some girls are down right stuffed inside, like a sausage. Ladies, when you are stuffed inside you look 2 sizes BIGGER. Watch “What not to Wear”…. Okay, here is my other peeve, don’t bring too many people when you are trying on dresses….they all have opinions….and they are not yours. I have seen many episodes where the disappointment on the brides face is so sad, when she comes out radiant in her favorite dress the group just stares at her with disgusted looks on there faces. Especially the Mother of the Bridem who give the bride the look, I’m not paying for that one! I am once again screaming at the TV, “It’s not about you” to the mother and guests. I no longer watch shows like Bridezilla or those wedding planner shows. They make me upset. I was watching Oprah last week, She did part of her show from Denmark. Oprah said, In America it’s more about the wedding then the actual marriage. It’s true!
I think I will stick to shows like Antique Roadshow and BBC America’s Cash in the Attic. They keep mellow.

On the Verge of Cleaning the Garage

My garage is is only a third of the size of a normal 2 car garage. We have built 2 rooms in the other 2/3rds. But into the third we have stuffed, thrown and stuffed some more. I know somewhere in there are some of our wedding presents, you know the ones you got that you will never use. I think there is even a silver tea service somewhere in there. Our family of five have lived in our little house for 22 years now. The garage is stuffed with things from those 22 years. My husbands solution is to rent a 22 foot long trash container and start dumping. I say, if it was all trash it would of been dumped a long time ago. I’m afraid to go away one weekend to find my husband has done just that. Our old neighbor would do just that. When his wife would go away, he would open that garage door and proceed to have a garage sale and then dump all the stuff that didn’t sell. I am not sure she even noticed. This is why I am scared. Not sure I would notice either. So this Saturday is the day. No more excuses, who know what might be in there.